Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
