the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
