i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
