please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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