So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
