my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
