Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
