Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
