idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
