3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
