Swine flu. Run for my life!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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