she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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