Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
please don't ironically join a cult
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