It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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