can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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