how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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