honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
