I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
