my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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