pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
