His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
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