Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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