Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
