I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can't believe i had my finger in that
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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