Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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