He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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