awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
