I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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