and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
