I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
