Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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