he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
