Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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