We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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