I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
