I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
