I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
