I wish I could punch you in the face.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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