did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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