Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
