i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
