dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
