Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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