check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i'm inner monologue high
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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