shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Of course I have a pirate flag
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
