my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
