You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
