Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
