why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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