I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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