it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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