Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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