Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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