I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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