is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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